There's No Home Like This
by Lamby
Summary: All grown up, settled down, married, kids...What is Blaze's world coming too? And what is it that is still missing from this perfect home of hers, that only she can search out? AU to X3.
1. 01

Disclaimer: I own only Laura (aka Blaze) and Jessica (aka Raven). Marvel retains all rights to the X-Men. Ilehana Xavier (aka Vixen) belongs to Corrinth.  
  
A/N: This is a slightly different take to Corrinth's first person Ilehana piece entitled 'There's No Place Like Home', totally inspired by said author's work. It occurs in the same time frame, but from a different perspective, so if you've read both, no you're not imaging that it's the same story! And so the timeline gets more tangled- eh Corrinth? Oh, on that note, this is set during the skipped bit at the end of Belonging. Enjoy.  
  
Chapter One- Xavier Mansion  
  
I sit on the small, hidden lawn, legs crossed and eyes closed, enjoying the simplicity of the night. I breathe deeply, slowly, trying to find an ounce of calm and tranquillity through the meditation that has been my centre, my balance, since I was little more than a child. Practice, they say, makes perfect, and the perfect trance state is still something I strive for. This place, here in my mind, is my sanctuary. Through good times and bad I have returned here, and yet again I do the same, wondering what tomorrow may bring.  
  
I am not afraid. The realisation comes slowly; fear is something I have lived with all my life. Fear of those I have crossed? Yes. Fear for those I love? Of course. Fear of myself, of my mutant abilities that can kill without warning or sympathy? Absolutely, it has been my driving force, pushing me over the edge time and again as I struggle onwards, fighting my demons through my meditations. Yet now the fear is gone, I breathe easily, the fight is over.  
  
Firelight dances around the lawn, soft and golden and beautiful. My fire, my essence. It takes no form tonight, a zephyr of mystery that is both warm comfort and light. I am fire, without it I would not exist as you see me, small redhead with big brown eyes and long tangled curls that grow faster than I can keep them cut. The Guardian of Fire. I wonder if I will ever truly understand what that means?  
  
My mutant name is Blaze. I am the foreign languages tutor at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. I am an X-Man, have been for many long years now and yet still this place feels like home. I wonder at that; who would have thought that I, on the run at fifteen across Europe for fear of what I had done, killing my own parents, could ever find a place to call home?  
  
My real name is Laura, though for years it was a name I could not touch. I take it more easily now, and that is his doing, the man I love. He could ask me for the moon and I would steal it out of the sky for him or die trying. Taking my own name back is a small allowance I feel, and it means a lot to him, my husband. The word makes me smile, it hasn't been that long and I'm still getting used to the idea. The beautiful pair of rings on my finger makes it real, cold metal a happy comfort. Both are pale gold, the wedding band plain and simple, my engagement ring set with a single diamond. And I'd always thought he had no taste.........  
  
I think I have our daughter to blame for the improvement. Jessica, my secret love, my cause for fighting with the X-Men, has finally found her way home. Legally ours now as well as genetically, emotionally, any way a family can be bound together, I wish I could take some small credit for the lovely child she is, but I cannot. My heart pines with 'what ifs?' but part of me is certain with an adimantium core that I could not have raised my daughter as well as her adoptive parents who I gave her over to. I pray they rest in peace.  
  
The circle is complete, then, surely? But no; just as everything becomes steady and right, the world is swept away from under my feet again and so it is that I take sanctuary outside tonight, knowing that if I am missed I will also be respected enough to be left be. I smile again; long eyelashes tickling my cheeks as unbidden my left hand drifts with its rings to my belly button. Absently I smooth the material under my warm hand, feeling the curve that is my second child growing inside of me, and I am contented. I wonder what they would think of all this, the Xaviers who gave me this wonderful life?  
  
I feel that the Professor would be happy for me. I can almost see the laughter in Charles' eyes as he looks forward to another youngster running around the place. He has been gone from us too long, our founder and our heart......... And his daughter, Ilehana? I think she would be proud of me, at the wholeness I have carved for myself. I wonder if she ever knew she was my inspiration even as her father was my guide? She had not been easy to get to know, a dominant character with bone-deep wisdom. But, as with all who had been privileged enough to know the Vixen well, I was glad that I had had the chance to get past all that. No, not chance, honour.  
  
A twig cracks in the foliage, and instantly my head snaps up. Someone is out there? Keeping my breathing soft and my senses alert I scan the edge of the shrubs and trees for any sign of a threat. If someone is out there, they will have to have the stealth of a wolf to steal away from me without me knowing. And then it hits me, with a lump in my throat as my hand again strays to my pregnant belly, that I know who it is in the trees. I have felt it before, that she is watching over us. Knowing there is no threat from her, I close my eyes again, trusting her as always, and slip back into my meditation. Under my fingers, I am almost aware of the life beginning there......... 


	2. 02

Disclaimer: I own only Laura (aka Blaze) and Jessica (aka Raven). Marvel retains all rights to the X-Men. Ilehana Xavier (aka Vixen) belongs to Corrinth.  
  
Chapter Two- Xavier Mansion  
  
I have the strangest dreams these days.  
  
Perhaps it is being pregnant, though I don't remember having strange dreams last time. Then again, the situation today is far removed from that, twelve years ago, when I was forced to go it alone for the sake of my child, my love and my sanity. This time, I am cared for, not just by my husband and our daughter, but also by all the X-Men. It is a lovely sensation, and life is good.  
  
This dream was stranger than most. Perhaps it was triggered by the confusing, emotional news brought back to me by my more battle-ready teammates, Logan and Scott, so recently. The mansion is a tinderbox of dry emotion; the slightest spark could bring the whole place down right now, and why? Because a wolf saved Logan's life.  
  
A wolf slaughtered the enemy of the X-Men with no regard for its own health or safety. A most unwolf-like wolf, a beautiful, haunting creature with the black tips to the ears and tail, blonde highlights across the chest and muzzle......... Not one of the X-Men would struggle to name their friend from that description, but only Logan had broken heart enough to utter the name aloud.  
  
"Ilehana?"  
  
The debate has raged on. She is dead, as she had prophesied she would be and to me no less, and yet......... I have kept my mouth shut, I was not there and so I cannot comment on the power of a moment when all truths fall into doubt. If Ilehana could be alive?  
  
Gambit has almost worn himself out trying to get his practical head around it. Not in front of the others of course, each of us is keeping our councils within our closest circles. There aren't many circles that come as close as Remy's and mine, we have known each other, loved each other, so long. He paces our room as I sit in bed and watch him, arms around myself.  
  
"But she dead, non? That was the deal, the Guardians get their powers but the Vixen had to die........."  
  
"There was no body." I meet his eyes as I speak, knowing what's coming next and wishing I'd kept my mouth shut. Technically, Gambit is not one of the Guardians; he is the Key, the mechanism by which their powers had been released for them.  
  
"I know what I did, Laura. Protective energy or not, no way Ilehana survive me chargin' her wit my mutant power, or bein' so close to that explosion. " He looks away, knowing he'd had little choice at the time. At the time, it had seemed the thing to do. It was only afterwards he'd had difficulty understanding why he'd gotten involved. "Huh, suicide by Gambit........."  
  
"Don't." I warn him. He sighs, but he also gives up and at last comes to bed. It takes him a long time to finally fall asleep, and only when he is dreaming do I follow him there.  
  
I dream of the Professor, of early morning spring sunlight dancing in patterns across his office ceiling, of the smell of the old furniture and the rich carpet. There is a map spread over his desk, and he is looking at it carefully. Suddenly he seems to notice he is not alone, smiling at me and beckoning me forwards. I too look at the map then, marvel at the beauty and the detail of it, like no map I have ever seen. It is almost as though the very countryside leaps out of the paper towards me, every contour of every hill, every wooded copse touched with moss and starlight, every babbling brook right there down to the gossiping noise of water over stones.  
  
For a moment I simply look, enjoying the beauty of the thing. The Professor breaks my gaze with a subtle movement, pointing out an exact spot with an index finger knarled by wisdom more than age. He looks at me so piercingly, so acutely that it is all I can do to look at where he is pointing and not at him. All the time he smiles, as if all is right.  
  
"That's where you'll find her." He says softly, not an order or a request, just a fact. I know his words are for me alone, but I cannot think why.  
  
"Just me? Not the X-Men, not all of us?"  
  
"That's where you'll find her." He repeats, still smiling, still so very certain.  
  
"I don't understand........." My dream self pleads, but already this world is fading and my eyes are drawn back to the map one last time.  
  
"That's where you'll find her." Charles whispers, and instantly I am wide- awake.  
  
My photographic memory works through visual associations. We've tested it, over the years, my friends and I. Phone calls, telepathic communication, and especially dreams I don't remember particularly well. Its fortunate really, my mind is cluttered up with old knowledge enough as it is.  
  
But not this dream of Xavier. As I lay in bed, I could picture the map so completely it was as though I had actually stood there, in that office, for real and committed it to memory. I half wondered if I had. Every contour line, every possible landing site for a jet, the precise reference Xavier had given me.........  
  
I have to go. I have to find this place, where Xavier wanted me to go. I couldn't think of anything else. It was imprinted on me, a command I could not shake. I have to find her.  
  
I lie still, wondering how. Curled up on my side, my head was resting on Gambit's left shoulder. His left arm coiled around me protectively, his wedding band cold on the hand of mine he held. His right hand rests gently on my round belly. And so I lie still, my fingers softly tracing an old scar on his chest. I do not want to wake him, no matter how much my head rattles around Xavier's instructions.  
  
Somehow, eventually, I wiggle free to pull on my dressing gown and steal through the mansion like the thief I used to be. And I was a very good thief. I cannot say why I feel I cannot tell anyone where I am going. It's just not important right now. In the lower levels I dress in our grey X-Men training gear. My uniform doesn't exactly fit at the moment.  
  
I take the Falcon, the three-seater stealth jet designed by Ilehana herself. Scott would have kittens if he knew I was flying his baby. He doesn't trust me with the X-Vehicles as a rule, and okay so I did write off the most expensive car the school has ever owned, but not without very good reason. After all, I adored that Aston Martin......... As for the plane, I'm a much better pilot than my restricted experience would suggest, due again to my memory and watching both Jean and Storm, though not Scott. A photographic memory doesn't stop you picking up bad habits.  
  
It is still dark as I launch the jet, using the stealth mode as I leave the hanger under the basketball court so as not to wake anyone who is not ready to be woken. The flashing lights and monitors, the buzzing equipment is a comfort, the protocols keep my mind numb and my hands busy. I cannot think, I don't dare hope that after all this time, five immensely long years, Ilehana Xavier may yet be alive and waiting for me......... 


	3. 03

Disclaimer: I own only Laura (aka Blaze) and Jessica (aka Raven). Marvel retains all rights to the X-Men. Ilehana Xavier (aka Vixen) belongs to Corrinth.  
  
Chapter Three- Somewhere In New York State  
  
I land the jet as the sun rises, on a grassy plain I remember distinctly from Xavier's map. It is a strange feeling, walking through countryside I have never been through before, but recognising every tree, every swell of the land. I move quietly, both through awe and need of stealth. I do not know what awaits me, what trick this may have been, and suddenly I am afraid for my unborn child.  
  
The fear passes like a brief summer squall when the GPS unit in my hand bleeps to suggest I am close. I switch it off, having no further need of it. Instead I look about, searching and not quite knowing what sign I am searching for. All is deathly hushed, not even the birds have begun their morning chorus, as if the whole world waits with bated breath for something powerful to happen.  
  
Slowly, a throbbing of the air begins to build up. Gradually I come to recognise the flow of power not unlike the way the way Remy would charge a card for a fight. Not unlike the power throbbing in the seconds before the Guardians were reborn in us X-Men. I follow my senses, the sensation of hairs standing up on the back of my neck. And so I find her more easily than I would have thought possible. Ilehana.  
  
She lies in a hollow, on the brink between sleep and wakefulness. As she comes to, she stretches lethargically, raising her arms above her head, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her fists. She stands slowly, stretching again. And then it hits her. She is human.  
  
I watch for a few moments, unwilling to disturb her thoughts as she brushes the collar of her X-Man uniform, runs a finger through her long blonde ponytail, ponders her new form and how little it has changed since last she wore it. At length, I can keep quiet no longer. I am too glad to see her, too swept away by it all to contain my excitable tongue.  
  
"Done thinking yet?" I ask, straining to keep my face as serious as the situation befits. Ilehana's head snaps towards me, and I am pierced by those predatory blue eyes, those Xavier eyes. She hardly seems surprised to see me, pondering how to manage the technicalities of human speech after five years of wolf-song.  
  
"I think so." She manages a chuckle, making me grin. It is too good to see her again! She crosses the distance between us, taking her first upright steps hesitantly, to hug me warmly. "But how did you know where to find me?"  
  
"Ah, now there's a story!" I reply, firmly tucking my through Ilehana's in a gesture of companionship. The Falcon is not far away, and I see no reason to linger here when home is only a short flight away. "I was dreaming. The Professor and I were looking at a map when he points certainly to a particular point on the map and says - with that look of certainty in his eye, that look that pierces, you know the one I mean?"  
  
"I do." Ilehana answers with the wry knowledge of someone who has both given and received that very same look. Laughter at that dances unspoken between us, and the birds begin to sing as I continue.  
  
"So he says 'That's where you'll find her.' And I'm thinking, me? Not us? But he just keeps on repeating the same statement." I tap my head, a gesture that Ilehana finds obviously comical. "Photographic memory - I'm not likely to forget the reference." Suddenly something tremendously important springs to mind, and my worries darken. "One other thing I do know, Gambit's gonna kill me when I get back."  
  
"Married life suiting you both then?" Ilehana asks, smiling. I'm shocked that she could know, but not overly so. There is very little I would put past the Vixen these days.  
  
"How........." I stop walking and look hard at her. "It *was* you, wasn't it? That day I was meditating; it was you in the bushes! I was thinking of you......... And that day when we fought Venu, when we were trying to save Jessie and the Prices......... I asked you for help......... you were *there*, weren't you?" The last words came as a direct challenge, though I didn't mean them to sound harsh, feeling a little ashamed as Ilehana hung her head.  
  
"It was me." She confirms quietly. "I've been watching over you all since I lost Ori. It's all that has kept me going for so long now........." Her voice trails off, just can't find the words. But I think I understand, simply hug her fiercely, using my power to evaporate a tear or two in that moment.  
  
I can feel her pride as she looks on the Falcon, her project, and all I can think is that Scott will have a run for his money now if he wants to hog the jet all the time. I look forward to that battle of wills, knowing exactly who will win. The future victor hesitates before boarding the plane, and before I can stop myself I offer her the pilot seat.  
  
"I think I'll sit this one out." Ilehana confesses reluctantly. "I'm more than a little rusty, don't want to endanger our precious cargo........."  
  
I smile but say nothing, taking the said seat and beginning to flick on dials and switches. I can feel Ilehana watching me like a hawk; pride in her little pack sister almost an aura. I shouldn't be so smug, but it's hard not to be these days.........  
  
"Be smug all you want, Laura." My telepathic friend laughs. "You've earned it. So, when is the baby due?"  
  
The conversation is deliberately light and friendly all the way home, though as the jet begins its descent back to the hanger, both of us fall silent, wondering what awaits below. I don't need to be a telepath to know that Ilehana is thinking of her love left behind, of Logan. But my mind drifts to my own partner, he is not going to be impressed with me at all.........  
  
As soon as we disembark I make my muttered excuses and leave Vixen to a moment by herself. A moment only, as almost as soon as I enter the lower levels Logan rushes past me back the way I have come. We share one glance, the Wolverine and I, and I nod slowly. It is all he needs to know, bursting into a run. Ilehana has come home to him......... 


	4. 04

Disclaimer: I own only Laura (aka Blaze) and Jessica (aka Raven). Marvel retains all rights to the X-Men. Ilehana Xavier (aka Vixen) belongs to Corrinth.  
  
Chapter Four- Xavier Mansion  
  
I run into Remy seconds later, still in the corridors of the mansion's lower levels. The sound of the jet approaching without its stealth mode was obviously what woke him. Sleep still clings to his eyes, and he is dressed only in boxer shorts and dark blue dressing gown. My heart stops when I see him and my feet follow suit.  
  
Sometimes Gambit forgets that I'm his wife now, tells me off on occasion like I'm still his apprentice I haven't been for fifteen years. But this is not one of those times where a glance from me will calm him down, not some silly row over nothing at all. He is furious, not an emotion he often gives into to, and why? Because I am a selfish fool, and because that scares him more than anything.  
  
Last time I was pregnant with his child, I fled this home of ours. I did not tell anyone, I had no intention of coming back. I thought I was protecting him, and our child, thought I had no choice. When I did return, I guarded the secret of our daughter like life itself. Ten years it took for him to find out about Jessica, ten years of his daughter I stole from him. There will always be that thought there now in the back of his mind that I may run again. That I may take this unborn child away without so much as a good bye.  
  
I dutifully drop my eyes as he stops a few paces from me, ashamed as he tries to find the words with which to describe what I have just put him through. There is nothing I can say as he asks me what I was thinking, fear thick on his voice. I only wait; trying to remain calm when it is the last thing I am any good at, until it slowly dawns on him that both the baby and I are fine. I hope someday he will realise I am never leaving again. Then he hugs me, breathing in my hair and wrapping me in love. I am never more complete than when I am here.  
  
"Where you go anyway Chere?" He asks, suddenly realising that if I wasn't running away then I must have had some destination in mind. I wriggle away from him a little, wanting to see his face as I tell him my news.  
  
"I found her!"  
  
"What? Who?"  
  
"Me, Remy." Ilehana is behind me, Logan's arm tight around her shoulder, hers wrapped around his waist for the entire world like a pair of amorous teenagers. Gambit's jaw literally drops open, making him gape like a guppy and me laugh out loud. He drops me abruptly and goes to sweep Ilehana into a hug, making her laugh too.  
  
"Now this is the type of welcome a girl could get used to coming home to!" She jokes, eyes wandering over Gambit's lack of clothes. Logan growls a warning, and I have to hide my grin with a hand. Remy grins too, but appeases Logan by letting Ilehana go. I'm never jealous of the flirtatious friendship between Gambit and Vixen, that department is well covered by Logan. I'm only immensely happy, as Gambit wraps an arm around me again, that within two seconds of her arriving home Ilehana is slotting right back in as though she never left. Much has changed in five years, but some things will forever be the same.  
  
And when a powerful telepath realises she hasn't had bacon in five years, her three companions cannot fight similar impulses. We head for the kitchen and breakfast, Gambit pulling on training gear as we walk. Logan's terrible joke about the married couple starting to dress the same is only silenced when a fireball near singes his sideburns.  
  
In the school, Gambit and I drop back unbidden as Scott Summers rounds a corner and near walks straight into the woman who calls him brother. Remy and I miss witnessing that reuniting though as we are suddenly mobbed by a twelve-year-old streak of energy. Jessica, known also as Raven, hugs us both good morning and kisses the bump. She is so looking forward to being a big sister. Suddenly she spots the lean blonde hugging Cyclops tightly not so far away, and her red-on-black eyes narrow suspiciously.  
  
"Jean is not going to like that." Gambit and I crack up at her observation. She's a very observant child, our daughter, and for one so reasonably innocent she has a wicked sense of humour. She's not a big fan of Scott and Jean, echoing her father in most things. And she is completely confused when Scott glances over at us having heard Jessie's words and grins through his tears. Raven frowns and asks. "Who is that anyway?"  
  
"Ilehana Xavier, the Vixen." Gambit fills in, as if repeating it one more time will make the whole thing make sense.  
  
"Isn't she kinda dead?" Raven asks sweetly in her American accent.  
  
"You 'bout as clued in as us, Petite." Gambit consoles her with a happy shrug. "You learn pretty quick you ain't never gonna know what card an Xavier gonna play next."  
  
Raven has more questions; she always does no matter what we tell her. Too bright for her own good, I swear proudly. But she doesn't get chance to ask as Ilehana finally succumbs to my mental pleading and comes to be introduced to my daughter.  
  
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you face to face, Raven." Vixen greets the twelve year old like an adult, making our independent Jessica warm to her instantly.  
  
"Everyone always talked about you being dead." Raven doesn't scoot around the point. "What happened? Are you back to stay? And what's all this stuff about Xaviers and Guardians and Watchers and whatever? Why'd this place start up in the first place, it was your dad wasn't it? And........."  
  
"Jessie!" I moan, trying to quiet her down, but Ilehana only smiles a little sadly. I can see in Jessica's eyes the seed of hero-worship starting to blossom. All the stories we'd told her of Ilehana and her father the Professor since she came to the school, now faced with the reality of the legend, I know she will not be disappointed. Ilehana agrees to tell Jessica all she can, all she can understand herself, but later, when things are calmer and she has said all her hellos, and Raven is appeased at that I think.  
  
One thing I do know for sure, is that this school, this mansion, is a legend in itself. It is so much more than a building of bricks and mortar; it has been a home and a refuge for possibly hundreds of troubled souls. It is a symbol of hope, in that no matter how many times those with power try to crush all that it stands for; it survives and continues to serve. It is the legacy of the Xaviers, both of them. And now one of them has come back to us, our Ilehana returned to us, it has a heart that beats once more.  
  
After all, there is no home like this.........  
  
The End  
  
A/N: Dedicated to the best pair of OCs in the world, Ilehana Xavier and Laura le Beau! Long may you be happy! 


End file.
